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I’ve bought my plane ticket back to Vermont. This is also back to my beloved daughter, as well as the place where it all came down. I am feeling a tremendous amount of fear: the logistics of dismantling the life I had helped to build, the feelings of shame at having ‘failed’ my job, the […]

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New Year

New Year’s day, 2018. I have woken up to panic after a wonderful evening. I’ve thrown some of my tried and true coping strategies at it (deep breaths, water, bad horror movies), trying to get more of the rest I came to Colorado to get.  A relatively new strategy that has grown out of these massive […]

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Disintegration

“Paradox in the Treatment of Trauma: The seeds of healing are in what we fear the most; illness is rooted in trauma-forged attempts at safety.” – Diana Fosha, PhD, 2002 I have finally experienced disintegration, in every sense of that word. I had built a life, worked hard at it, for just under a decade. […]

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Testimony at the Vermont State Legislature on the personal effects Adverse Childhood Events (ACEs)

Testimony – 10/12/17   Thank you so much for this opportunity.  I wish to dedicate my testimony to my friend Richard and my mother, who were both casualties of Adverse Childhood Events. My name is Ryan Lane, and I have an ACEs score of 5. I wish to present to you a brief history of […]

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